Home Sweet Home

I am officially home! I got here on Saturday afternoon and it is so good to be here :) Even though my parents moved into town I still have a beautiful view.  The backyard is a boat marina and the ocean with mountains and snow and blue skies included.  It's gorgeous :)
I've seen all my family that's in town and I've seen Zoe, Dezi, Logan, Logan's family, and a lot of other people too! Brianna gets in at 12:50 and I'll be picking her up from the airport at about 1:30 since she'll have to take the 1:30 ferry.  I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!
I'm loving just relaxing but I miss my roommates and my friends back at college.  I keep calling college home and it throws me off but honestly it is like home to me.  And so is Ketchikan.  And I'm happy :)
I'll try to do a few more blogs while I'm home and have spare time but we'll see.  No guarantees but I'll try!
Hope everyone is having a good Christmas break :)

It's FINALLY Here!!!!!

Today is the day! It's finally here! I'm going home and I am so excited! Not much time to write, I need to finish packing so I can head out but I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEK!!!!!!!!!!! See you this afternoon Ketchikan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Relaxing Day

Today I slept in again and then I woke up to a lovely breakfast from our roommate Sarah.  Then I got ready and laid back in bed, reading all day long.  We went to Wendys for lunch where we got stared at by a random guy for quite a long time! Then Beth, Jasmine and I went to the mall to run a few errands.  We came home and I finished the book I started yesterday, "The List" by Melanie Jacobsen-such a good book! Now we're watching Princess Diaries 1 and 2.  Plus we start saying goodbye to our friends today and tomorrow that are going on missions.  It's a little bitter sweet.  Still trying to figure it all out but for now I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my night :)

The Finals Are Over At Last

I have officially finished my first semester at college here at Brigham Young University :) I finished last night.  The greatest thing of all is that I walked in to take my writing final that should of taken 3 hours and my teacher had us turn in our essays, take a donought and leave.  Best. Final. Ever. Then I thought ASL would take 2 hours but it only took one :) I got an 80 on BOM which I took after my Doctors appointment which was at 7:35 am.  Jasmine and I spent all afternoon at Frisbee Friend's apartment reading, studying, and taking naps on their cuddle bag/couch as well as eating icecream, pirouettes, and grilled cheese courtesy of Grant and Josh.  Today I refilled a prescription, ran an errand for my sister in law, got JambaJuice (in celebration of finishing finals) and spent the rest of the afternoon at Frisbee Friend's doing the exact same thing as yesterday.  Now we're going to go get pizza at Little Ceaser's and watch Phantom of the Opera.  What a great day :)
P.S. I GOT TO SLEEP IN TODAY! 10:30 :) First time all week! Score!

Halfway There

BIOLOGY IS OVER! And so is Psych! I took both those finals today.  My roommate Sarah and I woke up and left our apartment at 7:30 and got to the JSB in time to take our first test right when it opened.  I took  Bio 100 first.  I studied for more then 10 hours and ended with a 77% on the final so I'll get a B or a B+ in the class.  Considering how hard I studied and how that's typically the class average, I'll take it :)  It took 3 hours and was 150 questions, well a little more due to some little pauses to eat my yogurt covered pretzels that had the nerve to melt due to the extreme heat.  Then I looked over my Psych notes and turned around and went right back in to take my 50 question Psych test. It took about half hour and I got a 78 without really studying so I'm a-okay with that one as well.  Plus I ended the semester with an A!  I walked home in the snow (it's been snowing all day).  Then I got ready for the day since I didn't feel like waking up early to do that before tests and then I made some food, cleaned up, did some dishes, and relaxed.  

This afternoon Josh and I tried out for men (him) and womens (me) chorus.  He finds out at the end of the week.  I find out on January 7th or 8th, blehhh.  That's a long time to wait and not know!  Then Grant, Josh, and I made a detour to the creamery on 9th where we bought way to much junk food and proceeded to stuff our faces after singing Christmas songs the whole walk home.  Now I'm at home, surfing Pinterest and just unwinding.  

Tomorrow morning I have a doctors appointment (check up on my foot) at 7:35.  Then I'll go take BOM, I have a scheduled Writing final from 11-2 (reading our personal narratives to the class) and then my last final from 5:45-7:45 which is ASL.  AND THEN THIS GIRL WILL BE DONE WITH HER FIRST SEMESTER AT COLLEGE!

This means 2 things...I should probably look over my BOM notes for the test tomorrow morning, and......

I GET TO GO HOME IN 5 DAYS!

Can you tell I'm just a little excited? ;)

Vent

It's finals week! Tomorrow I'm taking Bio and Psych.  Oh and I'm supposed to be trying out for Women's Chorus but I think I might cancel the audition.  Tuesday I'm taking BOM, Writing, and ASL.  Then I'll be done with the semester, thank goodness.  I wish I could go home on Wednesday but I don't get to till Saturday.  Not sure what I'm gonna do yet till then. Probably just sit around and wait to go home.  I wanna just be there already.  Last week everything was going so great and as of today I feel like it's all going down hill again and I'm just stressed.  I feel like everything I say is the wrong thing and I still can't manage to make everyone happy.
When I first got to BYU I felt like I had to try to be someone I wasn't to fit in and please everybody.  And I still felt like people just picked and pulled me apart with everything that was wrong with me.  So I finally gave up and just started doing what I wanted to again.  But now I feel like everything I say is wrong and people just get irritated when I mention something or say my opinion.  And I'm always always always wrong no matter what I say. I was so excited to come to college and get a start over, a redo, and I thought it would be amazing and perfect.  Well it's definitely not that.  I guess I'm  just still trying to figure things out.  Including money and finances and trying to think about next year and this year and this summer and a job and my classes and my STILL undecided major.
I know I'm just homesick and need a break from everything here.  I really owe a lot to 2 of my roommates, Jasmine and Beth.  They've welcomed and accepted me 100% for who I am and have become 2 of my very closest friends.  I don't know what I'd do without those 2 girls. I'm hoping that going home and seeing my friends and family will let me feel like I can be me again.  And hopefully this break will be just what I want it to be.  A break.  And I know it will be.  I'm so excited and anxious to be home.
On Saturday I want to go to the basketball game and see my nieces and some old friends.  On Sunday Logan gets back from a wrestling trip and I'll get to see him.  Then Brianna gets back a few days after than and I'll get to see her.  I am so excited I seriously can't wait.
I apologize for the rant, but I just needed to get some stuff out.  And I already feel a lot better.  This is just one reason that I love writing so much.  It's where I can just let everything go and it comes out so much easier and better than when I try to say it.  Oh, how I love words.  And oh, how I can't wait to be home. I miss everyone and everything. 6 days

Let The Studying Begin

Well it's official, tomorrow is the last day of classes this semester.  I just finished my last reading assignment and all I have left is a digital dialogue (if that even ends up happening).  I have 2 ASL classes and 1 Psych class left and do you know what that means?  IT'S TIME TO START STUDYING FOR FINALS!
I'm hoping to take Biology on Monday and get it out of the way since it's probably going to be the hardest for me.  It'd be nice to take Psych as well.  Then on Tuesday I have 2 scheduled finals.  Writing from 11-2 which is just reading our personal narratives out loud  to the class and then ASL from 5:45-7:45.  I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday morning at 7:35 so I'm hoping to take BOM after that and before my writing final.  That partially depends on the line however.  I might end up taking it between Writing and ASL, we'll just have to wait and see.
Today we have clean checks so I'll do that when I get home from ASL.  But, that leaves me a little over 2 hours to start studying so I think I'm going to start from the beginning of the year and study for Biology.  I'm probably going to need to go buy a bunch of note cards for both biology and psychology at the Bookstore.  I'll probably make  stop at the bookstore after ASL or on the way to it.  Or maybe even tomorrow after Psych.  I guess we'll just see :)
I have my yogurt covered pretzels, trail-mix, goldfish, yogurt, popcorn, string cheese, and ice-cream all ready to go.  So let the studying begin! Wish me luck! :)

Debating a Job

So, I'm debating on whether or not to try and get a job second semester.  I could really use the extra money but I don't know if it's worth the stress.  I'm also trying to decide if I'm going to make enough money this summer in order to be able to afford not having a job.  I guess I have a busy day ahead looking to see what my options are.  If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, please let me know.  It would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. I went to Christmas Around the World last night with Beth, Jasmine, Josh, and Mary.  We watched Russell and Erika in it and it was fantastic!
Also I went to the Doctor, finished my ASL activity and bombed my last bio test but now i just have finals to worry about for the most part.  Oh and I was sick for a large chunk of the week.  On to bigger and better things and productivity!

Thanksgiving Break

Break was awesome! Jasmine and I moved our beds out to the living room where we slept every night of break.  Mary, our RA and friend, slept on our couch 2 of the nights and Beth slept on the bean bag on Tuesday night since she left the next morning for home.  We went and saw Breaking Dawn on Tuesday which was AWESOME. Great twist, it really threw me off for a little while there but all is well! (those of you who have seen the movie AND read the books will understand) We also went to In and Out.  Then Beth, Jasmine, Tanner, Andrew, Mary, David, and I sat outside in the courtyard with blankets and M&Ms until about 1:30 in the morning.  On Wednesday we watched A Walk To Remember as we fell asleep.  All of us girls also made pajama pants on Wednesday (Jasmine came with me and Jenny brought Jolynda and her roommate Alyssa).  On Thursday we had Thanksgiving at Grandma's which was delicious! Then me, Cortney, Jolynda, Alyssa, and Jasmine went to Target for Black Friday (which started Thursday at 9 pm) Then we went to the mall for Black Friday at Midnight with Jenny, Erika and Mom too.  Hollister had 50% off the entire store so I got perfume and a zip up jacket.  Then American Eagle was having 40% off everything so I got a pair of yoga pants and a pair of yoga shorts.   Jasmine and I came home at about 1:30 and got out of bed at about 11:40.  Then we went to the new outlet mall and did MORE Black Friday shopping.  I got a new coat (Early Christmas) from Tommy Hilfiger which was having a huge sell and we went to a bunch of other stores.  I got a birthday present for Logan too.  Jasmine, Dustin, Cortney, Jenny, Alyssa, Jolynda, and I all went to the BYU Women's soccer game which was the elite 8.  We lost in double overtime but it was a great game! We have an awesome goaly and a wonderful team!  Then Jasmine and I came home and watched Burlesque (AWESOME!) and fell asleep afterwards.  Saturday we went back to the outlet mall where I got Christmas presents for the parentals and for Logan plus we went to Cabellas! Just a few more presents to buy and I'll be good :)  We watched Rio with the family and then stayed and played games till about 11.  We came home and pretty much just went to bed after that.  8:30 church as usual this morning but Jenny, Jolynda, and Alyssa came with us.  Megan and Jasmine gave talks which were great! Our friend Raymond spoke too.  I came home and made an omlette for lunch and fell asleep watching A Walk To Remember with Jasmine.  Russell and Erika picked me up at about 3 and then we had Sunday dinner with the whole family.  Jenny and her friends left after we ate and then the rest of us played games till about 9:30.  Now I'm home, showered, and already ahead on homework for the week.  Goals for the week: Find a Deaf Activity for ASL, Set up and appointment at the Health Center, and DO GOOD ON MY BIOLOGY TEST! Crossing my fingers on the last one! It opens tomorrow but I have a lot of studying to do.  So....good thing that I got other things done early so that I can just study my little heart out! Well my room is clean and I'm caught up on sleep from the break so I think I better head to bed.  Hope everyone else had as good of a break and Holiday as I did!

Kristen's Concert

Yesterday we went to our roommate Kristen's concert.  She's in the BYU Concert Choir and she did AMAZING.  BYU Singers also performed and it was a great concert. Then I came back and ate pizza and had OJ and watched part of A Knight's Tale with my awesome roomies Beth and Jasmine.  Didn't end up going to bed till like after 1 and Megan and I talked for a bit which was nice :)
This morning I got to sleep in until after 10:30.  Then I woke up, got ready, ate eggs with cheese on english muffins and now I'm gonna go to my grandma's house to see my parents who just got into town! My brother Dustin should be here any minute to get me! Then tonight we have a pizza party at Patti Miner's house with all the girls in our ward, so it should be fun! Pizza, hair, nails, facials, and movies! Should be a good day and a fun night :)

Sweet Productiveness!

Today has been super productive for me! I finished my last application essay for Psych 111 and I finished my first 2 drafts for my 10 page research paper in Writing 150. :)I feel so accomplished! Especially because they aren't even due yet! Next week should be a nice and relaxing week for Thanksgiving vacation. :)I'm staying here in Utah and my parents are flying in and Jenny is driving down from BYUI. My roommate Jasmine is going to hang out with us for break and so is my friend Jolynda and one of my sister's roommates. I think we're planning on making pajama pants and scarves :)
Now all that I have left to do for the semester that is stressing me out (other than midterms and finals) is finding a Deaf Community Activity for ASL and making a video afterwards about it.  The majority of the people have to be deaf and I have to introduce myself to 2 deaf people.  So, I'm hoping to find something that will work! Crossing my fingers! There's some stuff going on tonight but I don't know if they count or what time they are, so I'm going to talk to some people in my class and see what they're doing. I have till the first week of December so I'm going to keep looking!

Now I get to relax till ASL which isn't for another 2 and a half hours.  I love days like this :) Maybe I'll play piano or watch a movie.  I would say take a nap but yesterday I took an hour nap and couldn't sleep last night (plus I tried going to bed earlier than usual).  I kept waking up all night and all through the morning so it was kind of a restless night.  But I feel awake now so I guess that's all that matters.  But I'd like to sleep tonight so no nap for me!
Hope everyone else is having just as much of a productive day as I am :)

Don't Count The Miles, Count The I Love You's-I Miss My Best Friends

Thanksgiving is next week and that means I get to see my family over break.  Sadly, I don't get to go home.  But I do get to see my parents and sister, my whole immediate family actually except for John and Kristin and their 3 little girls Lexi, Kaytlin, and Addie.  I'm really missing that family, especially those little kiddos.  They always wanted to spend time with me and read books, watch movies, come play in my room.  I think I took them or granted a little too much.  Okay, a lot too much.  I really miss my nieces.  I get to be with Maddie here, but I wish I could be with all of them.
I miss some other people quite a bit too.  I miss Zoe Smith, one of my very best friends.  She's a sophomore in high school this year and we became friends through cheer and soccer her freshman, my senior, year and became inseparable   We went to McDonald's all the time after soccer practice and we worked together this summer.  And we had fun movie nights too with Austin and Logan.  We even share the same birthday and I miss her like crazy.  I miss Logan Collins too.  Logan is my other very best friend.  We talk on the phone every day and  I miss him a lot, and his family.  I spent a majority of my summer with them and they made me feel like family.  Logan and I dated this summer, and broke up the day I came to college.  On that same day I said goodbye to my dog Chester forever.  Talk about one crappy day.  I cried a lot, in the car after saying bye to Chester, at the ferry saying bye to Logan when we broke up, on the ferry ride thinking about it, and even on the plane rides.Brianna McLaughlin has been my best friend since 7th grade back when we used to have competitions to see who could solve the math problem faster in Mr. Sullivan's class.  We had a lot in common and we've had our ups and our downs but she'll always be like a sister to me.  She's in Anchorage for college right now, on the cheer squad too!  She'll be in Ketchikan for part of break but then she is going to Iowa to visit her mom.  So we have a lot of catching up to do in a short amount of time.  I miss other people too, but I am so excited to see Logan and Zoe and Brianna when I go home December 15th.  I'll be there for 3 weeks and I'm going to make every second count.

BYU Men's Basketball Game!

So there's a mens basketball game tonight and I am going with Peter Wilson from Wrangell and my roommate Jasmine! 2nd row seats :) Peter is there right now saving them for us.
I wrote through page 7 of my research paper on Cochlear Implants.  I was already on page 5 so I only wrote like 2 but still it was progress.  The paper has to be 10 pages minimum.  Then I finished my power point for my ASL expressive project which is due tomorrow.  I have to sign along with it for 5 minutes in class describing the things on the screen. Crossing my fingers!  I also rearranged my dorm room a bit and reorganized my food to all fit in my cupboard again.  And I got a 5 minute nap which was much needed.
The game is at 7 so I better go get ready. GO COUGARS!

A Different Kind of Happy

I've had a lot on my mind today.  Lots and lots of thinking about lots and lots of things.  So if you ask e what about I probably won't answer.  So please don't take it personally, it's just much too complicated and long to talk about :)
Today it was pretty chilly out.  We had FHE and did the newly wed game with our roommate and Megan and I did AWESOME! Then Jasmine and I went on a walk to the Creamery for her to get icecream and had a lovely talk.  I can tell her anything and I love it :) Now we're back at the dorm and there's snow outside on the ground.  We're gonna eat icecream and watch Percy Jackson.  What a great way to end the day, and much needed!

P.S. I gave a talk in church yesterday

Disney Movie and Blankets :)

Today we had 8:30 AM church as usual.  Then we came home.  Megan and I visit taught Nea and Kaylee and then we came back and watched High School Musical with our roomies, fhe bros, and a friend in the ward.  It was pretty fun and we all had blankets and pillows and even some stuffed animals.
I made chicken for dinner and some rice.  Now I'm thinking about eating some cottage cheese with pears.  Then we have a presidency meeting tonight and then ward prayer :)
Here's some pictures of what's been going on lately!

Ward Bowling Night with Robert, Tanner, Cam, Beth, and Jasmine

Double date to Bridal Veil Falls with Austin, Kristen, and Drew

Got into a flour fight with Raymond on a date

We made a fort for our date too

We were Super Facebook Stalkers for Halloween

Megan and I got giant matching stuffed animals from Costco for cuddling with

All bundled up before the last home football game, snow on the ground!

Carving a pumpkin on our date

Sorry this all took so long to post, I'm just way far behind so this is from all over the semester and not in order either! Hope you enjoy :)

SNOW!

Woke up with tons of snow on the ground :) It's beautiful covering the mountains! Then Beth, Jasmine, and I went shopping.  I made my first ever Build-a-bear and it's a black bear with a cute little hat and hes my alaskan bear! His name is Bentley :P
Then Jasmine and I got maxi skirts and cardigans.  And then we all just walked around the mall.  Then we came home and watched Beastley.  Then went to the last home football game.  We stayed for half of the 2nd quarter and then came home because we were freezing.  Now we're hanging with some of our FHE boys and friends and watching a movie with hot cocoa :)
I'd say it's been a pretty good day :)

Bowling, Hot Cider, and Fame :)

Woke up at 9 :)
Got to wear my xtratufs and northface due to the lovely rain :)
Had orange juice on my way to class :)
Saw and got to hear President Uchtdorf speak before class :)
Now it's snowing :)
And I get my hair done this afternoon, plus ward bowling night! :)
Awesome Day? I'd say so :)

That was my facebook post earlier today :)
They my Writing class got cancelled and it got even better! All of my homework done by noon and then a relaxing day and now...I'm a blonde again!

Watching Fame with the Roomies tonight :)

Momma's Homemade Cooking

It's really bothered me since I got here that my good doesn't taste like my mom's.  It's the same recipes and they just don't taste the same.  Today though I finally felt like I was eating my mom's cooking.  Yes I feel like I am finally learning how to cook! Yay!
Oh and for those of you wondering, Tasia and Robert both got their calls to Brazil! They both leave in March too.  So exciting!
Oh and another random tidbit, it's been about 60 degrees all week.  Tomorrow it's supposed to drop to like 35 :( I'm not looking forward to this..

It's Not The End of The World

Yesterday was election day.  It was Mitt Romney vs. Barrack Obama.  Obama won.  And I'd swear by some people's reactions that the world was coming to an end.  I even had a friend say that they were going to wear black today in memory of America's funeral.
Yes, I don't follow politics all that well.  And yes, they annoy and frustrate me like no other.  But, that doesn't mean that the only reason I'm not freaking out is because I'm uninformed or misinformed.  The fact is, Obama is our President.  America voted him in and that means that we need to support him as our President.
My vent is now done on that :)
Tonight Taja and Robert open their mission calls! So exciting! Ahhhhhhh can't wait! Taja's is at 7 and Robert's is at 9! So excited for them :)

Forever Undecided?

I don't know what it is, but I can never make up my mind.  I would much rather have other people choose for me.  I think part of it is that I don't really like taking the responsibility of everyone's happiness.  I would much rather everyone else be happy and I just tag along for the ride.  But, unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way.  And, alas, it can't be like that anyways.  Life is full of decisions and choices to be made.  And now that I'm at college, it's time for me to make those big choices and small choices.  I've found that it's sometimes the smallest of choices that make the biggest of differences.
I can choose to wear my hair curly or straight.  I can choose to wear the yellow shoes or the blue ones.  I can choose to eat spaghetti for dinner or eggs.  I can choose to stay at home and watch a chickflick or go out with friends.  I can choose to decorate my wall or leave it blank.  So what do I choose?
I like my hair better straight.  I change my mind daily on shoes.  I love spaghetti but since it's all I've been eating since Saturday (college students and left overs) I would rather have eggs.  I prefer chickflicks to freezing outside at an ultimate frisbee game that I'm not even playing in.  I hate blank walls, they're boring and make me feel claustrophobic.  I love pictures and quotes an words, so I cover my wall with them.  And that's just the beginning.
Every day I make the little decisions and they fill my life.  So why would I want to make the big ones? The important ones?  Why can't somebody else make those?  I don't want to be blamed if something goes wrong.  I don't like the pressure.  I just wanna be me.  That's all.  I want to write, I want to listen to music, I want to take silly pictures with my friends, I want to smile and laugh and make everybody happy.  Can't that be enough?
When I was a little kid it was.  But not anymore.  Now I'm grown up.  I'm at college.  I'm making my own decisions, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.  Should I go on the date?  What should I make for dinner?  How in the world am I going to pay for everything?  Am I fitting in?  What can I do to make friends?  Who likes me for me, all my baggage attached?  Who won't judge me?
What should my major be?  Right now I have Psychology declared, but that's so not for me.  After taking Psych 111 this semester I think I've decided to go another way.  Interior design?  Human development?  I guess we'll see next semester when I have a class for both of those.  Oh and another thing-AM I GOING TO PASS BIOLOGY?!
I have enough decisions and choices and things to think about already.  I don't want to add to it.  Want to make me happy?  Don't always make me choose.  I realize that sometimes I need to and should and that it's good for me.  But sometimes, sometimes I don't want to.  And I think that maybe, just maybe, that should be enough.  One day I'll make important decisions, but that's when they're really truly important and I know for a fact what I want.  So please be patient with me, I'm trying.  But I'm trying to be me, not just what everyone else wants from me.  So maybe I'm not perfect, but that's okay with me.  I'd rather be me  than perfect any day.